Once in a Lifetime
"Once in a Lifetime"
is the sixth story in Unaccustomed Earth by Jhumpa Lahiri
and the first in a trio of interconnected stories following Hema and
Kaushik. It is a tale of childhood friendship, cultural displacement,
and the subtle tensions that arise within immigrant families. The story is narrated
by Hema, looking back at a significant moment in her youth when
Kaushik and his family re-entered her life.
Plot and Structure of "Once in
a Lifetime"
Plot
Summary (Chronological Flow)
"Once in a Lifetime"
is structured as a retrospective second-person narrative,
where Hema recounts her childhood memories directly addressing Kaushik
("you"). The story follows a non-linear structure,
blending past and present reflections.
Introduction – Hema’s Family and Past
with Kaushik
Hema introduces her family’s
background as Bengali immigrants settled in Massachusetts.
She recalls Kaushik’s family
moving to India years ago, ending their childhood friendship.
Kaushik’s Family Returns Unexpectedly
Years later, Kaushik’s
family moves back to the U.S. and temporarily stays with Hema’s
family.
Kaushik is now a tall,
distant teenager, very different from the boy she remembers.
Hema becomes fascinated
by him, subtly developing feelings.
Cultural and Social Differences
Between Families
Hema’s
family is more traditional and frugal, whereas Kaushik’s family is wealthier and more
Westernized.
Hema’s parents admire Kaushik’s
father but envy their wealth and confidence.
Hema’s Curiosity About Kaushik and
His Mother
Hema observes Kaushik’s
withdrawn behavior, sensing that something is wrong.
Kaushik’s
mother appears ill,
but no one openly discusses it.
The Secret is Revealed
Hema accidentally overhears
her parents discussing that Kaushik’s mother has cancer.
She is shocked and saddened,
feeling sympathy for Kaushik but unsure how to comfort him.
Kaushik’s Confrontation with Hema
When Kaushik realizes Hema knows
the truth, he lashes out in anger, accusing her
family of gossiping.
This moment creates a deep
emotional rift between them.
Kaushik’s Family Leaves & Hema’s
Realization
Soon after, Kaushik’s family
moves into their own home, and the two families drift apart.
Hema never sees Kaushik’s
mother again, later learning that she passed away.
This event marks the end of
her childhood innocence.
Structure of the Story
1.
Narrative Style: Second-Person Retrospective
Hema directly addresses
Kaushik as "you," making the story feel personal and
nostalgic.
This structure adds intimacy
and reflection, as Hema looks back with the wisdom of hindsight.
2.
Non-Linear Timeline
The story moves between past
and present, blending childhood memories with adult reflection.
The past is told from Hema’s
childhood perspective, but with a sense of adult awareness.
3.
Climax & Emotional Turning Point
The climax occurs when
Kaushik confronts Hema about knowing his mother’s illness.
This moment shatters their
fragile bond, leaving Hema feeling distant from him.
4.
Open-Ended Conclusion
Kaushik’s family leaves
without reconciliation, and Hema never gets closure.
The lack of resolution
mirrors the unfinished emotional connection between them,
leading into the next story, “Year’s End.”
Conclusion
The
plot and structure of "Once in a Lifetime" create a deeply
emotional, reflective narrative about childhood, loss, and unspoken
feelings. The second-person perspective, non-linear storytelling,
and abrupt emotional climax make it a poignant and
immersive experience.
1.
Exposition: Hema’s Family and Their Life in America
Hema, the narrator, addresses Kaushik
directly, recounting their shared history from her perspective.
Her Bengali immigrant parents, Shibani
and Paramesh, are a traditional, middle-class couple
who have settled in Massachusetts.
Hema’s family follows Bengali
customs, hosting gatherings with the local Indian community
and striving to maintain their culture while adapting to American life.
Kaushik’s
family
had been their close friends but had moved back to India years ago, leaving
Hema with only vague childhood memories of him.
2.
Kaushik’s Family Returns from India
Years later, Kaushik and his
parents, Dr. Choudhuri and Ma, unexpectedly return to the U.S. and
temporarily move in with Hema’s family.
The Choudhuris had lived a
privileged life in Bombay (Mumbai), but Kaushik’s
father has now secured a prestigious academic job in the U.S., leading
them back.
Kaushik is no longer the little boy
Hema remembers. Now a tall, handsome teenager, he seems distant
and more Americanized than before.
His presence fascinates Hema, who is
several years younger and develops a subtle crush on
him.
3.
Cultural and Social Differences Between Families
The differences between the two
families become increasingly clear.
Hema’s
family is traditional—her
parents are cautious, frugal, and rooted in Bengali values.
Kaushik’s
family, by contrast, is wealthier, more sophisticated, and less tied to Bengali
customs.
Hema’s parents admire Dr.
Choudhuri but envy their wealth and resent their
perceived arrogance.
4.
Hema’s Growing Fascination with Kaushik
Hema, still a child, is intrigued by
Kaushik’s confidence, worldliness, and detachment.
Kaushik, unlike her, seems comfortable
in his American identity, having lived a life of privilege in India.
Hema secretly observes him, eager to
understand him, but he treats her as a little girl and keeps
his distance.
5.
The Hidden Truth About Kaushik’s Mother
Over time, Kaushik’s mother
seems unwell, but no one directly acknowledges it.
Kaushik remains withdrawn, avoiding
deep conversations, but Hema senses his sadness.
One day, Hema overhears a
shocking conversation between her parents:
Kaushik’s
mother has cancer,
and that is why they have returned to the U.S.
The illness was kept a secret,
even from Hema, because her parents did not want to upset her.
The real reason for their
return was so that Kaushik’s mother could seek better medical
treatment in America.
6.
The Confrontation: Kaushik and Hema’s Moment of Truth
After overhearing this, Hema views
Kaushik with new sympathy and longs to comfort him.
However, Kaushik is furious
when he realizes Hema knows about his mother’s illness.
He lashes out at her,
accusing her of being part of a family that gossips and intrudes into private
matters.
The moment is a turning
point—Hema realizes she will never truly understand Kaushik’s
pain.
7.
The Choudhuris Leave & The Unfinished Connection
Shortly after this confrontation, Kaushik
and his family leave the house to settle into their own home.
Hema and Kaushik drift apart,
their brief shared time ending with unspoken emotions and unresolved
tension.
Hema never sees Kaushik’s
mother again, and soon, she hears of her passing.
This marks the end of her
childhood innocence, as she now understands loss in a personal way.
Analysis: Themes & Symbolism
1.
The Contrast Between Two Immigrant Families
Hema’s
family represents traditional Bengali values—cautious, community-driven, and modest
in lifestyle.
Kaushik’s
family is wealthier and more Westernized, having experienced privilege in India before returning to
the U.S.
The story highlights how immigrant
families can take different paths, adapting in unique ways to American
life.
2.
Coming-of-Age & Loss of Innocence
Hema’s experience with Kaushik marks
the beginning of her emotional maturity.
She develops her first
romantic feelings, only to realize Kaushik is emotionally
distant and beyond her reach.
Her discovery of Kaushik’s
mother’s illness exposes her to the harsh realities of life
and death.
3.
The Burden of Unspoken Grief
Kaushik is unable to speak
openly about his mother’s illness, making him seem detached.
His anger toward Hema
comes from his deep pain and his frustration at people discussing his
personal tragedy.
His emotional isolation foreshadows
his character in the later stories.
4.
Unfinished and Unspoken Feelings
The story ends without
closure—Hema and Kaushik do not reconcile, and their paths diverge.
Their story continues in the next
installment, "Year’s End."
Conclusion
"Once in a Lifetime"
is a powerful story about childhood, cultural identity, and the
unspoken pain of loss.
Through Hema’s eyes,
we witness Kaushik’s struggle with his mother’s illness and
his growing emotional distance.
The clash of immigrant
experiences between their families highlights the complexities
of adaptation and privilege.
Most significantly, the story sets
up the deep, yet unfinished, emotional connection between Hema and Kaushik,
which will evolve in the next two stories.
Detailed and Complete Summary
“Once
in a Lifetime” is the sixth story in Unaccustomed Earth by Jhumpa Lahiri and
the first in a trio of interconnected stories following Hema and Kaushik. It is
a tale of childhood friendship, cultural displacement, and the subtle tensions
that arise within immigrant families. The story is narrated by Hema, looking
back at a significant moment in her youth when Kaushik and his family
re-entered her life.
Exposition:
Hema’s Family and Their Life in America
Hema,
the narrator, addresses Kaushik directly, recounting their shared history from
her perspective.
Her
Bengali immigrant parents, Shibani and Paramesh, are a traditional,
middle-class couple who have settled in Massachusetts.
Hema’s
family follows Bengali customs, hosting gatherings with the local Indian
community and striving to maintain their culture while adapting to American
life.
Kaushik’s
family had been their close friends but had moved back to India years ago,
leaving Hema with only vague childhood memories of him.
Kaushik’s
Family Returns from India
Years
later, Kaushik and his parents, Dr. Choudhuri and Ma, unexpectedly return to
the U.S. and temporarily move in with Hema’s family.
The
Choudhuris had lived a privileged life in Bombay (Mumbai), but Kaushik’s father
has now secured a prestigious academic job in the U.S., leading them back.
Kaushik
is no longer the little boy Hema remembers. Now a tall, handsome teenager, he
seems distant and more Americanized than before.
His
presence fascinates Hema, who is several years younger and develops a subtle
crush on him.
Cultural
and Social Differences Between Families
The
differences between the two families become increasingly clear.
Hema’s
family is traditional—her parents are cautious, frugal, and rooted in Bengali
values.
Kaushik’s
family, by contrast, is wealthier, more sophisticated, and less tied to Bengali
customs.
Hema’s
parents admire Dr. Choudhuri but envy their wealth and resent their perceived
arrogance.
Hema’s
Growing Fascination with Kaushik
Hema,
still a child, is intrigued by Kaushik’s confidence, worldliness, and
detachment.
Kaushik,
unlike her, seems comfortable in his American identity, having lived a life of
privilege in India.
Hema
secretly observes him, eager to understand him, but he treats her as a little
girl and keeps his distance.
The
Hidden Truth About Kaushik’s Mother
Over
time, Kaushik’s mother seems unwell, but no one directly acknowledges it.
Kaushik
remains withdrawn, avoiding deep conversations, but Hema senses his sadness.
One
day, Hema overhears a shocking conversation between her parents:
Kaushik’s
mother has cancer, and that is why they have returned to the U.S.
The
illness was kept a secret, even from Hema, because her parents did not want to
upset her.
The
real reason for their return was so that Kaushik’s mother could seek better
medical treatment in America.
The
Confrontation: Kaushik and Hema’s Moment of Truth
After
overhearing this, Hema views Kaushik with new sympathy and longs to comfort
him.
However,
Kaushik is furious when he realizes Hema knows about his mother’s illness.
He
lashes out at her, accusing her of being part of a family that gossips and
intrudes into private matters.
The
moment is a turning point—Hema realizes she will never truly understand
Kaushik’s pain.
The
Choudhuris Leave & The Unfinished Connection
Shortly
after this confrontation, Kaushik and his family leave the house to settle into
their own home.
Hema
and Kaushik drift apart, their brief shared time ending with unspoken emotions
and unresolved tension.
Hema
never sees Kaushik’s mother again, and soon, she hears of her passing.
This
marks the end of her childhood innocence, as she now understands loss in a
personal way.
Analysis: Themes & Symbolism
The
Contrast Between Two Immigrant Families
Hema’s
family represents traditional Bengali values—cautious, community-driven, and
modest in lifestyle.
Kaushik’s
family is wealthier and more Westernized, having experienced privilege in India
before returning to the U.S.
The
story highlights how immigrant families can take different paths, adapting in
unique ways to American life.
Coming-of-Age
& Loss of Innocence
Hema’s
experience with Kaushik marks the beginning of her emotional maturity.
She
develops her first romantic feelings, only to realize Kaushik is emotionally
distant and beyond her reach.
Her
discovery of Kaushik’s mother’s illness exposes her to the harsh realities of
life and death.
The
Burden of Unspoken Grief
Kaushik
is unable to speak openly about his mother’s illness, making him seem detached.
His
anger toward Hema comes from his deep pain and his frustration at people
discussing his personal tragedy.
His
emotional isolation foreshadows his character in the later stories.
Unfinished
and Unspoken Feelings
The
story ends without closure—Hema and Kaushik do not reconcile, and their paths
diverge.
Their
story continues in the next installment, “Year’s End.”
Conclusion
“Once
in a Lifetime” is a powerful story about childhood, cultural identity, and the
unspoken pain of loss.
Through
Hema’s eyes, we witness Kaushik’s struggle with his mother’s illness and his
growing emotional distance.
The
clash of immigrant experiences between their families highlights the
complexities of adaptation and privilege.
Most
significantly, the story sets up the deep, yet unfinished, emotional connection
between Hema and Kaushik, which will evolve in the next two stories.
Main Characters
Hema
(The Narrator & Protagonist)
The
story is told from her perspective, directly addressing Kaushik.
A
young Bengali-American girl, several years younger than Kaushik.
Comes
from a traditional middle-class Bengali family living in Massachusetts.
Develops
a subtle crush on Kaushik, but he treats her like a child.
Her
innocence is shattered when she learns about Kaushik’s mother’s illness.
She
is curious, observant, and introspective, trying to understand Kaushik’s world.
Kaushik
Choudhuri
The
son of Hema’s parents’ old friends, returning from India after several years.
Once
a childhood friend of Hema, he has now grown into a tall, distant teenager.
More
Westernized and privileged, having lived a luxurious life in Bombay.
Seems
detached and emotionally withdrawn, keeping secrets from Hema and her family.
His
mother is terminally ill with cancer, but he refuses to talk about it.
Becomes
furious when Hema learns the truth, lashing out at her in frustration.
Represents
loss, grief, and the emotional distance between childhood friends.
Kaushik’s
Mother (Ma / Mrs. Choudhuri)
A
once glamorous and elegant woman, now suffering from cancer.
The
real reason Kaushik’s family returns to the U.S. is for her treatment.
She
tries to hide her illness, but Hema notices she looks unwell.
Passes
away soon after the events of the story, marking a turning point in Kaushik’s
life.
Kaushik’s
Father (Dr. Choudhuri)
A
successful Bengali doctor, well-respected in both India and the U.S.
Secures
a prestigious academic job in America, prompting the family’s return.
More
Americanized and modern compared to Hema’s father.
His
wealth and status make Hema’s family feel slightly inferior.
Hema’s
Parents (Shibani and Paramesh)
Traditional
Bengali immigrants, cautious and frugal.
Hema’s
mother, Shibani, is a classic Indian homemaker, always keeping up with
community gossip.
Hema’s
father, Paramesh, is a practical man who admires Kaushik’s father but feels
insecure about their social difference.
They
host Kaushik’s family in their home but later resent their sense of
superiority.
Important Places in the Story
Hema’s
House (Massachusetts, USA) – The Main Setting
Where
Kaushik and his family stay temporarily after moving back from India.
A
modest, middle-class Bengali home, reflecting traditional values.
The
place where Hema secretly observes Kaushik and overhears the truth about his
mother.
Becomes
a symbol of the cultural contrast between the two families.
Kaushik’s
Family’s Former Home in India (Bombay, India)
Where
Kaushik’s family lived in wealth and privilege before returning to the U.S.
Represents
their Westernized lifestyle and cultural distance from Hema’s family.
Kaushik’s
New House (After Moving Out of Hema’s Home)
After
leaving Hema’s home, Kaushik’s family moves into a new place.
Becomes
a symbol of separation—Kaushik and Hema’s families drift apart after this move.
Conclusion
The
characters and places in Once in a Lifetime highlight the emotional and
cultural contrasts in the story.
Hema
represents innocence and curiosity, while Kaushik represents grief and
emotional distance.
The
Choudhuris’ wealth and Westernization contrast with Hema’s more traditional
upbringing.
The
home settings reflect themes of belonging, transition, and emotional
separation.
This
story sets the foundation for Hema and Kaushik’s evolving relationship, which
continues in Year’s End.
Important Questions & Answers
1.
Why does Kaushik’s family return to the U.S. after living in India?
✅ Answer:
Officially, Kaushik’s father
gets a prestigious academic job in America.
However, the real reason
is that Kaushik’s mother has cancer, and they want better
medical treatment for her.
2.
How does Hema view Kaushik when he returns?
✅ Answer:
Hema is fascinated by
Kaushik, who has changed from a childhood friend into a tall,
distant teenager.
She develops a quiet
admiration (or crush) for him but senses that he is emotionally
withdrawn.
She feels he is different
from her, more Westernized and privileged.
4.
How does Hema learn about Kaushik’s mother’s illness?
✅ Answer:
Hema accidentally overhears
her parents discussing it in their bedroom.
They had kept it a secret
from her, thinking she was too young to understand.
This shocks and saddens her,
making her see Kaushik in a new light.
5.
How does Kaushik react when he realizes Hema knows about his mother’s cancer?
✅ Answer:
He becomes furious
and lashes out at Hema.
He accuses her family of gossiping
and intruding into his personal life.
His anger shows his pain and
frustration—he does not want pity or discussions about his mother’s
illness.
6.
What is the significance of Kaushik’s mother’s death?
✅ Answer:
It marks a turning point
in both Kaushik’s and Hema’s lives.
Hema realizes that childhood
innocence does not last forever.
Kaushik becomes even more
emotionally distant, foreshadowing his character in Year’s End.
7.
How does the story reflect themes of cultural identity and adaptation?
✅ Answer:
Hema’s
family represents a more traditional, cautious immigrant experience, staying deeply connected to
Bengali culture.
Kaushik’s
family is more assimilated, having lived in privilege in both India and the
U.S..
The story explores how
different immigrant families adjust to American life in contrasting ways.
8.
Why is the story narrated in the second person ("you")?
✅ Answer:
Hema
directly addresses Kaushik, making the story feel personal and reflective.
This style creates nostalgia
and a sense of distance, as if Hema is looking back on something long
past.
It also emphasizes that
Kaushik will never hear this reflection, highlighting missed
connections and unresolved emotions.
9.
How does the story’s open-ended conclusion impact the reader?
✅ Answer:
The story ends without
closure—Kaushik leaves, and Hema never fully expresses her feelings.
This reflects the reality of
life, where not every relationship gets resolution.
It sets up the next story, Year’s
End, where Kaushik’s emotional struggles continue.
10.
What is the meaning of the title Once in a
Lifetime?
✅ Answer:
It suggests that Hema and
Kaushik’s brief time together was unique and fleeting.
Their paths cross in
childhood, but they soon drift apart forever.
The title hints at the
nostalgia and longing for moments that can never be repeated.
Conclusion
These
questions highlight the key themes, character dynamics, and emotional
depth of Once in a Lifetime.
The
story explores childhood innocence, cultural contrasts, and the pain of growing
up.
Hema
and Kaushik’s connection remains unfinished, making their story deeply
bittersweet.
Important Quotes
Hema’s
Nostalgic Reflection on Kaushik
“I
had not seen you in nearly seven years, and yet I knew you at once.”
✅ Meaning:
Hema
immediately recognizes Kaushik, despite the years apart.
It
highlights the deep connection she feels, even though he has changed.
On
Kaushik’s Distant and Changed Personality
“You
were a boy I had grown up with, who had played with me as a child, and yet you
were suddenly a stranger.”
✅ Meaning:
Hema
realizes that childhood friendships do not always survive time and change.
Kaushik
has become distant, foreign, and unreachable.
The
Cultural Contrast Between Their Families
“Your
parents had changed in ways mine had not. They seemed grander than before, more
dramatic.”
✅ Meaning:
Kaushik’s
family has become more Westernized and confident, making Hema’s family feel
smaller and more traditional.
Highlights
immigrant identity differences and the gulf between privilege and modesty.
Hema’s
First Glimpse of Kaushik’s Mother’s Illness
“Your
mother, sitting on our sofa, was beautiful, but there was something missing in
her face, a tiredness around her eyes.”
✅ Meaning:
Hema
notices the first signs of Kaushik’s mother’s sickness, even before knowing the
truth.
This
foreshadows her terminal illness.
The
Secret of Kaushik’s Mother’s Cancer
“I
stood outside my parents’ bedroom door and listened. I heard them say the thing
that I had suspected but had not been able to admit to myself.”
✅ Meaning:
Hema
accidentally overhears her parents talking about Kaushik’s mother’s cancer.
This
moment marks the loss of her innocence, as she realizes the harshness of
reality.
Kaushik’s
Anger and Emotional Outburst
“Don’t
feel sorry for me. Don’t talk about us behind our backs.”
✅ Meaning:
Kaushik
lashes out at Hema when he realizes she knows the truth.
His
reaction is driven by pain, frustration, and his refusal to accept pity.
The
Unspoken Goodbye
“That
winter was the last time I saw your mother.”
✅ Meaning:
Hema’s
final memory of Kaushik’s mother is left unfinished and unspoken.
Highlights
the fleeting nature of relationships and life itself.
The
Emotional Distance Between Hema and Kaushik
“You
were a ghost to me, someone I had loved without realizing it.”
✅ Meaning:
Hema
acknowledges her deep feelings for Kaushik, but it is too late.
He
has become a memory, distant and unreachable.
The
Meaning of the Story’s Title
“Once
in a lifetime, you were in my house, sitting at our table, living among us. And
then, just like that, you were gone.”
✅ Meaning:
Reflects
the fleeting nature of their time together—a moment that will never return.
Hema’s
tone is nostalgic and bittersweet, realizing that some people enter and leave
our lives forever.
Conclusion
These
quotes capture the nostalgia, loss, and emotional distance between Hema and
Kaushik.
The
story explores childhood friendships that fade, unspoken emotions, and the pain
of growing up.
Kaushik
becomes a ghost in Hema’s memory, leaving behind only a brief, unforgettable
presence.
