“Advice to Women” by Eunice de Souza
Introduction
“Advice to Women” is a short but meaningful poem by Eunice de Souza, an Indian poet known for her sharp, simple, and often ironic poetry. The poem gives an unusual piece of advice to women: keep cats.
At first, this advice may sound funny or strange. However, the cat is used as a symbol to teach women an important lesson about love, relationships, independence, and loneliness.
The main idea of the poem is that women should not become completely emotionally dependent on their lovers or partners. They should understand that every person is an individual and that sometimes even people we love can seem distant or emotionally unavailable. Women should therefore learn to be strong and comfortable with themselves.
Central Idea of the Poem
The poet suggests that women should keep cats because living with cats can teach them something about human relationships.
Cats are known for being:
Independent
Unpredictable
Sometimes affectionate
Sometimes distant
Unconcerned about what others expect from them
According to the poet, lovers can sometimes behave in a similar way. A person may love us but still remain emotionally separate from us. We cannot completely control another person's feelings, thoughts, or behaviour.
Therefore, the poet advises women to develop emotional strength and independence.
Detailed Explanation
The unusual advice: “Keep cats”
The poem begins by giving women an unexpected suggestion: keep cats.
Usually, when someone gives advice about love or relationships, we expect them to talk about trust, communication, understanding, or sacrifice. But Eunice de Souza humorously says that women should keep cats.
This immediately attracts the reader's attention.
The cat is not simply a pet in the poem. It becomes a teacher. By observing and living with a cat, a woman can learn important truths about relationships and human nature.
The independent nature of cats
A cat is usually very independent. Unlike some pets, it does not always try to please its owner. It may come close when it wants affection, but it may also suddenly move away.
Sometimes, a cat may:
Ignore its owner.
Refuse affection.
Want to be alone.
Return only when it wishes.
Behave as if it belongs only to itself.
The poet uses these characteristics to explain the nature of human beings, especially lovers.
A lover may love someone deeply, but that does not mean that the lover completely belongs to the other person. Every individual has a private world of thoughts, emotions, and experiences.
The Idea of “Otherness”
One of the most important ideas in the poem is otherness.
“Otherness” means the fact that another person is always separate from us.
Even when two people are very close and love each other, they are still two different individuals. We cannot completely know what another person is thinking or feeling.
For example:
A woman may think:
“I know my partner completely.”
But in reality, no person can completely enter another person's mind or understand every feeling inside them.
Sometimes a loved person may become silent, distant, or emotionally unavailable. This can be painful. The poet suggests that women should understand and accept this reality instead of losing themselves emotionally.
The independent cat teaches this lesson very clearly.
Cats and Lovers: The Comparison
The poem compares the behaviour of cats with the behaviour of lovers.
| Cats | Lovers / Human Beings |
|---|---|
| Independent | Have their own personality |
| Sometimes affectionate | Can show love and care |
| Sometimes distant | Can become emotionally distant |
| Cannot be controlled completely | Cannot be possessed or controlled |
| Have their own world | Have private thoughts and feelings |
The poet's comparison is humorous, but it contains a serious message.
She suggests that love does not mean ownership.
We may love someone, but we cannot expect that person to always behave exactly according to our wishes.
The Meaning of Emotional Distance
Sometimes people in relationships experience emotional distance.
For example, a person may be physically present but emotionally silent. They may not share everything they think or feel.
This can make the other person feel lonely.
The poet wants women to understand that this loneliness is sometimes part of human relationships. Instead of becoming completely dependent on another person for happiness, women should develop their own identity.
They should have:
Their own thoughts
Their own interests
Their own confidence
Their own emotional strength
Their own sense of identity
This is one of the strongest messages of the poem.
Learning to Be Alone
The poem also deals with the idea of solitude.
Being alone does not always mean being unhappy.
The poet suggests that women should learn to face moments of loneliness without fear.
A woman who depends completely on another person for emotional happiness may feel lost when that person becomes distant.
However, a woman who understands herself and values her independence can face loneliness with greater strength.
Therefore, the poem indirectly teaches:
Do not make another person the entire centre of your life.
Love is important, but self-respect and independence are also important.
Feminist Message of the Poem
“Advice to Women” can be understood as a feminist poem.
Traditionally, society has often expected women to make sacrifices for their families and romantic relationships. Women have sometimes been taught that their happiness should depend on:
Their husband
Their family
Their children
Their relationships
Eunice de Souza challenges this way of thinking.
She suggests that women should have an independent identity.
They should not lose themselves in love.
The poem does not say that women should not love. Instead, it says that love should not destroy a woman's individuality.
A healthy relationship should allow both people to remain individuals.
Tone of the Poem
The tone of the poem is:
1. Humorous
The idea of keeping cats to understand lovers is funny and unusual.
2. Ironic
The poem sounds like simple advice about pets, but it actually deals with serious subjects such as love, loneliness, and emotional independence.
3. Practical
The poet does not give romantic or idealistic advice. She presents relationships realistically.
4. Feminist
The poem encourages women to become emotionally strong and independent.
Symbolism of the Cat
The cat is the most important symbol in the poem.
It represents:
Independence
A cat does not completely depend on others.
Freedom
It moves and behaves according to its own wishes.
Emotional distance
It may suddenly become distant or uninterested.
Individuality
It has its own personality and does not exist simply to please someone else.
Through the cat, the poet teaches women an important lesson: every individual has a separate identity.
Important Themes
1. Love and Relationships
The poem presents a realistic view of love.
Love does not mean that two people become exactly the same or understand everything about each other.
There can still be mystery and distance between lovers.
2. Emotional Independence
The strongest theme of the poem is emotional independence.
Women should not depend entirely on another person for their happiness.
They should be capable of living emotionally strong and independent lives.
3. Loneliness
The poem accepts loneliness as a part of life.
Instead of fearing loneliness, a person should learn how to face it.
4. Individuality
Every human being has a separate identity.
Even in close relationships, individuals remain separate persons.
5. Feminism
The poem encourages women to maintain their independence and self-respect instead of defining themselves only through relationships with men.
Poetic Style
Eunice de Souza uses a simple and direct style.
The poem is written in free verse, meaning that it does not follow a strict rhyme scheme.
The language is conversational and easy to understand, but the meaning is deeper than it first appears.
The poem is effective because the poet uses an ordinary animal—a cat—to discuss complicated human emotions.
Use of Irony
Irony is an important literary device in the poem.
The poem appears to offer simple advice:
Keep cats.
However, the real subject is not cats. The real subjects are:
Love
Relationships
Emotional distance
Independence
Loneliness
This unexpected comparison makes the poem memorable and powerful.
Message of the Poem
The main message of “Advice to Women” is:
Women should love others, but they should not lose their own identity and independence in relationships.
They should understand that:
No person can completely belong to another.
Lovers may sometimes be emotionally distant.
Every individual has a private world.
Loneliness is sometimes unavoidable.
Emotional strength is important.
A woman should be able to stand on her own.
Critical Appreciation
“Advice to Women” is a short and intelligent poem that deals with serious issues through humour and simplicity. Eunice de Souza uses the image of a cat to explore the nature of human relationships. The independent and unpredictable behaviour of the cat becomes a symbol of the emotional distance that can exist between lovers.
The poem has a strong feminist message. It encourages women to maintain their individuality and emotional independence. The poet does not present love as something perfect or completely romantic. Instead, she presents a realistic view of relationships in which people may love one another but still remain separate individuals.
The language of the poem is simple, direct, and conversational. The use of irony and the unusual comparison between cats and lovers make the poem interesting and memorable.
Overall, the poem teaches women to love without losing themselves and to become strong enough to face emotional distance and loneliness.
Conclusion
In “Advice to Women,” Eunice de Souza gives women an unusual but meaningful lesson through the example of cats. The cat teaches them about independence, individuality, and emotional distance. The poem encourages women not to depend completely on lovers for their happiness.
The most important lesson of the poem is that love is valuable, but self-respect, individuality, and emotional independence are equally important.
One-line conclusion for exams:
“Advice to Women” is a feminist poem that uses the symbol of a cat to teach women the importance of emotional independence, individuality, and the ability to face loneliness in relationships.
